There’s so much to say, so much time has gone by since I last posted, that it’s hard to know where to start. I think I’ll take you through the past two months mostly in photos, sharing how fall and winter show themselves in this little town of Camden, inside at 34 Hosmer Pond Road, and inside me.
I was very determined to plant these few heads of garlic I saved from July’s harvest. It symbolized my own ability to plant myself into what still seemed like strange, new earth. Come spring, maybe we would both poke our little green noses up, take a look around and say to each other, “We made it”! As for now, we are both sending down roots into the dark ground and as for the outcome, we will have to wait.
I must admit, those words were truer two months ago at October’s end than they are now. As I sit here on New Year’s Eve day, I can speak more confidently about my emergence. As for my garlic, I can only hope.
I love driving past this ‘conserved’ farm, on the way to our house, just a quarter-mile up the road. It’s funny the little things that call out to you. This was one for me. It wore fall so beautifully and I could only imagine what it would look like cloaked in winter. Here, I’ll skip ahead and show you.one more frosty one….
Turning the calendar pages back a month, we had our first Thanksgiving with Sara, Alec and Tricia. Sarie and I sat on the edge of our seats, as we always do, watching Santa ride onto 34th street in his glorious sleigh. I love that it never fails to thrill us!The bird is in the oven and the familiar smells of so many thanksgivings past fill this new house with a sense of continuity. All we were before and are today lace together into one, the whole being just a little bit richer for the addition.
This was the last big family meal at this table. As much as we loved it, it was way over sized for this dining area. Adam and I struck a great deal. He would take our table and we would take his. I’ll skip ahead and show you how great it worked out!Dontcha think?
It seemed like forever that I just couldn’t move off-center, which is to say I was stuck. I was beginning to doubt my ability to make a decision, even one as simple as choosing a paint color for the kitchen, let alone invest real money to buy a rug. I bought more trial jars of paint at Home Depot and painted these 8×11 sheets of paper to stick on the wall and still I couldn’t decide. Really, it’s just a can of paint! There was more going on inside me that had to do with doubting myself, with being swayed by other people’s opinions, with an old fear of making a mistake. That’s a tight noose around the neck if you know what I mean. Strange as it seems, it was December 9th, exactly three months after we moved in, that I really felt the log jam begin to ease up. I bought a can of paint and didn’t even try it out like I’d done before. We bought a rug and I ordered a butcher block top for the island in the kitchen. I had a few rapid heart beats after each purchase and second guessed myself after I placed the order, but I just had to get over myself.
In a week, the butcher block top will be delivered and then I’m pulling the purse strings tight for a while. We’ve upped the ‘cozy factor’ and I feel myself moving in more deeply and putting my ‘scent’ on this place. Feeling more like home!
A quick dash onto winter with a few photos of our celebrations round the tree with the fam.The preparation of lobster bisque for Christmas Eve dinner will be a very special memory. Sometimes when the ‘feel’ is just right, for me, that’s when the hour casts just the right light, when the aromas smell warm, the music is lovely and Rob and I are like hand in glove, I guess I could be making mud pies, it wouldn’t matter, I close the shutter on that moment and save it for all times. This was one of them.
Today Adam, Jennette, Emma and Ollie will come for New Year’s and place their energy in this house along with the other family members that have visited so far. Each visit brings another layer of life into each room the way they say that with each successive loaf of bread you make, yeast spores remain, making the next loaf rise more easily.
We took down the tree, vacuumed the floor, fluffed the pillows and settled down to enjoy the last few sunlit hours of this first day of the new year.
As for resolutions, I think as I grow older, there is less resolving and more to just keep practicing. Patience and trust are not new to me, but they can slip through my fingers like a watermelon seed. So I will practice turning my mind towards the places of comfort and acceptance of what is, and feeling the love that surrounds us all remembering that includes me.
Happy New Year!